Sunday, April 21, 2013

Cacao Nibs: the new official university snack?


[Image: cacaonibs.jpg]


Cacao Nibs: the new official university snack?

January 29, 2030

Weekly Report Posted: December 14, 2012 11:31

There has been a massive movement by a number of hipster-oriented student organizations to make cacao nibs the new official university snack for Mitakihara University.
"We like to make Cacao Nibs the new, ultra-cool, ultra-tasty, offi-ci-al snack of the university," said Joe Blow, a freshman agriculture major and self-proclaimed cacao nibs dealer from Seattle, the capital of the Hipster States of America, which includes Washington, Oregon and British Columbia. "They're like the new wine, the new coffee, the new chocolate order for the ages, man.
"I mean, they're, like, so fucking addicting. They may taste like fermented wine the first time you try it, but then, you'll want to, like, snort the whole bag, without, like, sharing some of those nibs for the others, man. Dunno if you could actually smoke 'em, but I know you can eat 'em like space cakes, man.
"Everybody, is, like, eating these cacao nibs: from the administration, to the teachers, to the students, to even the visitors from America, Mexico, Colombia...they're, like, coming from all over the place—some as close as Uranus, man!
"It's great business. I don't see any chocolate bars around here. All they're selling are nibs, nibs, nibs, cause they're good for you, they're lower in fat and they are so tasty. I went to Tamako's Lawson place, wherever the hell that is...sold out in an hour. I had to wait till tomorrow...and they still ran out! This just shows you that these nibs are even better than potato chips, and they are a rarity here on campus!
"I'm telling ya, we're gonna have a referendum, and we're going to make sure that shit passes, so that everybody can pass those nibs!"
The referendum to make the cacao nib the official snack of Mitakihara University will take place on January 10, 2030. A simple majority will be required to secure passage into law, which would take effect in the 2030-31 school year.

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