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Mitakihara win their first CSFL Championship

Mitakihara win their first CSFL Championship

October 21, 2027

Weekly Report Posted: November 17, 2012 09:27

While the Mitakihara Magi football team are continuing their 2027 football season, the Magi sprint football team wrapped up a dream season with a 77-0 shellacking of Franklin Pierce at Hakurei Centre to earn their first-ever Collegiate Sprint Football League Championship before a sellout crowd of 10,000.

First-year head coach Chris Timmons, drenched in pink Powerade, was ecstatic as he was lifted into the heavens. "Oh man, this was a fun, fun year for our guys," Timmons said. "I told them before this game, just have fun out there, we've already won the title last week, but anytime you have a bunch of light, scrawny players that want to win at all costs, who can stop them?

"Nobody! We are now the best sprint football team in all of North America and I hope we can make this a dynasty like our regular team has long established. This has been a great ride."

This year's Magi sprint football team had been led by freshman tailback Mathias "Monkey" Butler, who ran for 1,460 yards and 18 touchdowns.

Sophomore quarterback Hans-Michael Goff has passed for 1,800 yards and 21 touchdowns. Receiver Breeze Pees has urinated all over opposing secondaries with 1,024 yards and 14 majors.

Defensively, sophomore cornerback Pott Kettle, known for his obscene eyeblack, has been a turnover machine, with 17 interceptions this season. Fellow corner Jono Jack has attacked opposing receivers with his hard hitting, amassing 100 tackles for the Magi Sprinters. And left end "Big" Ben Haubertson has 25 sacks and 70 tackles to his credit.

Haubertson himself credits training with football defensive line coach Kodaka "Dak" Hasegawa as the reason behind his performances this season.

"Coach Dak has taught me a lot about proper positioning, proper stand and I was able to improve on my speed and acceleration," Haubertson said. "Because I am undersized, technique and execution are what I have been taught to emphasize and I think it's paid off."

Graduate assistant Akane Isshiki, who will now transition into her new role as the special teams coach for the Magi football team, is aware that these players will never get a chance to play with the regular football team due to their size and weight.

"It's sad to say this, but none of these players will be playing on the real football team," Isshiki said. "But they play with the same intensity, desire and passion. Also, the great thing about this team is that they are all on scholarship, through need-based financial aid, similar to what you see in the Ivy League.

"We are the only team in the athletics department that uses need-based financial aid, so it sets a precedent."

As for Isshiki, she now turns her attention to preparing for her new role as a member of the football team's coaching staff.

"I plan to learn from Shizu [current special teams coach Shizuno Takakamo] on how to do business with the big boys while watching and observing how everything is run," she said. "it's going to be much different that working with the sprint football team, and it will be a bit more difficult, but I've dealt with adversity before, and this is where I am at my best. I leave the sprinters knowing that I helped them make their own history this season."

The Mitakihara Magi sprint football team will be honored at halftime during the Magi football team's game against the Miami Hurricanes.

9/2 at Army W 59-35
9/9 at Navy W 62-7
9/16 at C.W. Post W 80-10
9/23 at Cornell w 56-21
9/30 vs. Penn W 55-17
10/7 vs. Mansfield W 63-27
10/14 vs. Princeton W 49-31
10/21 vs. Franklin Pierce W 77-0

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