Saturday, May 4, 2013

Bono Hanneberry "the master chef of all master chefs": Tipsy Selwood

Bono Hanneberry "the master chef of all master chefs": Tipsy Selwood

By Ted Santos
The Daily Magi
October 6, 2042


Mitakihara Magi right end Charles "Bono" Hanneberry is the son of Sydney Swans midfielder Daniel Hanneberry. After an injury forced his father to retire in his mid-20s, Hanneberry moved to Canada with his father and mother to start a new life. In addition to being a financial analyst, Bono's dad coaches the Mitakihara Town Sports Club Australian Rules Football team as an assistant.

What makes Bono special is his ability to cook. Bono has a propensity for cooking with Idaho potatoes and creating a lot of dishes that incorporate potatoes, including 100 different varieties of poutine.

"Bono is a poutine expert," said punter Terrance "Tipsy" Selwood, the son of former West Coast Eagles midfielder Scott Selwood. "He's the master chef of all master chefs. He can make some killers chips and poutine, colcannon, champ, boxty, bread...he just has a propensity in loving the spud because it tastes great and is very versatile.

"However, he believes that the best potatoes in the world come from Idaho. Great soil, great climate, great water...and I do have to agree with him. The finest Russets come from Idaho. However, he also likes to cook with Lumpers. Ever since the Lumper became cultivated widely in the past decade, the demand for the one-time blight potato's been on the up and up, you know?

"So whenever there are Lumpers available, he tends to buy whatever the max is allowed in the store per purchase because he loves the flavor and the mouthfeel. The fact that it's being grown with a vengeance in Idaho makes it even more impressive, and more accessible to those who want a piece of history.

"As athletes, we value good starches and protein in our diet. We train hard in the weight room, and we go through taxing drills at Hakurei, and we put it to work on the field. We value vegetables like Idaho potatoes and it's good to know that not only is Bono a master chef, but also a bit of a nutritionist, too. It's a double win for the entire team."

Hanneberry is majoring in Kinesiology at Mitakihara University.

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