Monday, May 27, 2013

Mitakihara splits national championship with Florida

Mitakihara splits national championship with Florida

By Bing Haarhuis
The Daily Magi
January 10, 2045

The looks on the faces of many Mitakiharans, British Columbians and Canadians in general was that of sheer disbelief when the final polls were released. In the final polls, the Florida Gators, who Tatsuya Kaname's Magi dismantled 155-73 in the 2045 BCS National Championship Game in Miami, Fla., were placed first in both the Coaches and AP polls. This means the Magi will have to split the national championship with Florida, the first time in 16 seasons that a split national championship has been awarded.

The news was not met very well in Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal, where scenes of heavy rioting ensued. The American consulate in Toronto suffered massive damage and was vandalized. This forced the prime minister of Canada, Xavier Trudeau, to formally apologize to the President of the United States, Theo Gillibrand, via Skype.

In Mitakihara, there was just shaken heads and rolled eyes, a more subtle reaction to the news.

"I don't believe it," said sophomore finance major Elly Pierce of Shawinigan, Que. "We just crushed Florida, and the pollsters decided to place the Gators at the top regardless. What is the point of these polls anyway? They're useless!"

"We won the national championship, not the Gators," said junior humanities major Hank Hess from Brunswick, N.J. "The AP and Coaches just gifted their national championships to them. I thought it was a rule for the coaches to rank the BCS title game winner as No. 1. Maybe they changed the rule of something. In any case, the polls have to be called into question, and the process used.

"I mean, if we finish unbeaten over everybody, we should be No. 1, right? There is just no logic here. This is just a simple and cheap way for Florida to get a consolation prize for simply showing up in their own stadium a few days ago. Really farcical polls this year."

However, Coach Kaname believes that there may be a reason.

"I surmise that out strength of schedule didn't work in our favor," said Coach Kaname from his office at Hakurei Centre. "We scheduled Harvard this season, and the lesson to be learned is to not schedule FCS teams anymore. That may be the reason behind where we ended up. It doesn't make sense, but I think the pollsters valued strength of schedule.

"We are considering scheduling Florida next year as an option, perhaps to quiet the sympathetic pollsters, but we will see what happens."

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