Saturday, June 1, 2013

Mitakihara hit the jackpot against UNLV, 167-61

Mitakihara hit the jackpot against UNLV, 167-61

By Bing Haarhuis
The Daily Magi
November 4, 2045


It's another victory for Tatsuya Kaname's Mitakihara Magi, who were pretty unhappy that they were still ranked No. 2 by the coaches. Madoka flew past the UNLV Rebels, 167-61, at Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas, Nev., but the Rose, Pink and White were dumfounded by the logic of the coaches in their poll.

"We were second to Iowa last week, and now we are second to Ball State this week after smoking our opposition all year," said quarterback Damion Roberson. "What the fuck are we going to do to convince these coaches that they are dissing the best team in all of college football? Come on, man? This is why we've been playing the fucking game with a fucking chip on our shoulder all season because we get disrespected by jerks who don't know what they hell they're smoking.

"We don't want another split national championship. Fuck that shit! We're gonna make sure the pollsters respect THE Madoka U by the time this season's fucking over."

Roberson passed for 351 yards and a touchdown while rushing for 535 yards and nine more scores. Halfback Kyle Ryan ran for 199 yards and five majors while halfback Cory Jackson ran for 184 yards and two scores. Also with a touchdown on the ground were fullback Red Eilands, halfback Brandon Williamson, halfback Adam Johnson and wide receiver Adam Dotson.

Wide receiver Jack Dallaire led the pass-catchers with five catches for 111 yards. Wideout Terrence Andrews led the blockers with 22 pancakes. Middle linebacker David Smith paced the defense with 18 tackles, while cornerbacks David Phillips and Lee Matthews had two interceptions each.

Madoka improve to 9-0 and host the Nevada Wolf Pack next week.

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