Monday, September 30, 2013

Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 17

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Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 17

By Gir Todafunk
Special to The Daily Magi
November 28, 2053


Hey, how's it going, everyone! I am Gir Todafunk, back at it with another Weekly Column for the Daily Magi and the Magi Football Blog. I'm feeling more of the love again this week. Another Player of the Week honor by the conference and by the nation of America and the 51st known as Canada. Our official state languages are English and French. I kid. The people in New York come up with these things, and after six tackles and seven picks, I get my dues.

Man, does it feel fantastic. Not sure if I will earn similar honors this week against UNLV, but hey, I can't complain about padding my stats like this. I mean, I'm leading college football in interceptions this season; it's great. So hopefully, I can get a few more turnovers and look to make a late push for the Thorpe.

So here we are, honoring the seniors on all the sports teams on Magia Day, part of Magia Week, which talks about the accomplishments of many senior student-athletes. On the Daily Magi, you've already seen some of the success stories of the seniors from the football, basketball, hockey, baseball and women's volleyball teams. I look up to a lot of these people because to me, they are role models and heroes. Heroines, if you're talking about the women.

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One of these female role models that I look up to, surprisingly, is Kotori Itsuka, the wife of Coach Okabe. She is someone that knows a lot about this football team and advocates their success and winning formula. The only thing she's not a fan of, but has learned to accept, is us running up the score on weaker opponents. We've done that quite a few times and she doesn't approve of it, but what does she know? She's only a coach's wife, that's all. And an employee of the university.

"The thing about it is that Buntarou doesn't like us being too harsh on our opponents either, but the way the players are conditioned in their freshman year turns them into world-beaters," Ms. Kotori said when I talked with her on Wednesday about her thoughts on the team. "It's an unescapable fact that I have learned to accept. They don't take pills, they don't take steroids...they just run in the sun, do drills, lift weights, and develop a mental and physical toughness that fuels them for the next four years of their lives.

"At this university, Gir, you can be a three-star everyman and turn into a five-star powerhouse after going through summer conditioning and the two-a-days. When you are surrounded by all the awards and accolades and plaudits inside the Hall of Fame, you just want a piece of it and help add to it. It makes you want to be a part of this. And then you turn into the type of ideal student-athlete we look for to play in, fight in, live in, and die in our colours.

"That's how it's been for more than four decades. This is our tradition. You are a part of this by playing on the football team."

I asked Miss Kotori, "Do you ever come out to the games?"

"Only when I'm not called to work," she said. "If it's a day game at home, I can't. If it's a night game at home, I might be able to catch at least the second half. In this case, I will be at the game in full and hopefully I can give Buntarou some tips on how to get the line to start making some sacks."

"You don't like us making picks, Miss Kotori?"

"That's Coach Tsuruta's department. You talk to Mickey about that. I'm concerned about the D-Line." She offered me a piece of candy. "Lollipop?" 

"Gee, thanks." I couldn't resist. That's Ms. Kotori's calling card: lollipops. She's quite a fast talker and very frank, but she really cares about the well-being of the team. And she's a nice lady to begin with. "You remind me of my mom."

"I get that a lot," she replied with a wink. "That's why Buntarou made me his wife."

Well, tomorrow we get to begin the final push for the next national championship. We got some Rebels to hunt down. Hope to see you all there at the Stadium. Next week, I get to talk about those two teams ahead of us on the rankings: Miami and Texas. Or, it might be something else if they fall this week. You'll have to find out soon! This is Gir Todafunk, Mr. Wonderful, signing off. You are not alone.

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