Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 21

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Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 21

By Gir Todafunk
Special to The Daily Magi
December 21, 2053

Happy Holidays to you all reading the Magi Football Blog and the Daily Magi; this is Gir Todafunk with a special Monday edition of my weekly columns. Everyone, I would like to formally apologize. I said in my previous column that we would be facing Notre Dame in the BCS National Championship Game. That was a mistake. We're actually facing Minnesota.

I know, I know, it's not like me to troll you guys or anything, it was Aziz Al-Hasheem's fault. He was supposed to tell me the correct team we're facing and he gave me some shitty information. So, I am sorry if I had misled any of you readers. It also didn't help that I was actually studying inside my dorm room. I wasn't at the Pep Rally two Sundays ago; I was preparing for the next term. Yes, I am a nerd AND a jock. I live a dual life. It's part of the Law of Gir. Yes.

So, for the next three seasons, if I am still around, I will make sure to actually go to the Pep Rally instead of sit it out due to my academic concerns. I'm the son of the President and CEO of MetroTech for a reason, you know. It's not just all fun and games for me.

So, I'm doing practice at the LA84 Sport Center in Carson, replete with their soccer field, which we use as our practice field for the next few weeks. We just arrived in Los Angeles today, had a quick runthrough and now we are now at the Ritz-Carlton, resting and relaxing after jet lag and going through drills.

You know, staying in luxury hotels is something we do when we are on the road or when we are preparing for big games like the BCS National Championship Game. That term is an age-old misnomer because a Canadian school, which is us, is involved. But we love to be treated like kings, because we are gridiron kings that play the game better than anybody. We may not be sportsmanlike in our approach at times, but we play the game better than anybody. Seriously.

The Ritz is awesome. You get to see good views of the LA skyline, and I think I can actually see the Rose Bowl from my floor. There's a rooftop pool, a lounge, an Executive Suite for the coaches, and there is a lot of perks that meet the standards set by the athletic department. The No. 1 team in the BCS rankings deserves the best hotel possible.

Now across from us is the J.W. Marriott, and ironically, that is where the Notre Dame players are housed. One of the players, wide receiver Kim Sanseo, rubbed shoulders with us and said as we were on our way checking in, "Hey, we could have faced you guys." Then I told Sanseo, "I know. I know."

I know there are so many pissed-off people in South Bend right now. Hey, at least you get to play in Pasadena in the Rose Bowl Game. If Miami and Texas did not lose their final games, we would be playing in that game and you probably would be seeing the Irish play in Arizona, and the Fiesta Bowl. So, we gave you a spot in the Granddaddy of Them All.. You're welcome.

But yes, I really wished that we faced you wonderful Irishmen instead of Minnesota, a team that we will now have to spend days looking at game tapes of. Bring on the Golden Gophers, I guess.

Keep your eye out for the next Weekly Column from yours truly, in which I will talk about some of the interesting presents I got from some folks. One more thing: I won the Jim Thorpe Award. And everyone enjoyed a nice seafood dinner at Ika's. Well done, that Decker. Till next time, I am Gir, Mr. Wonderful, signing off. You are not alone.

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