Monday, October 14, 2013

Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 51

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Gir's Weekly Column: Volume 51

By Gir Todafunk
Special to the Daily Magi
July 16, 2055


Ahhhhhhh yeah! It feels great to be back writing another fresh, fresh, FREEEEEESH! weekly column for the Daily Magi and the Magi Footbal Blog. It's ya boy, Gir Todafunk, back once again to prep for another year of the awesome from the team doing its best to be awesome: your good friends on the Mitakihara Magi football team, COACHED! by the one, the only, Tatsuya Kaname. Or Coach Kaname for short. You know what I'm talking about.

A lot of the returning faces are coming back from a long offseason of conditioning and classes. I am now a third-year student! Yay! Also known in American lingo as a junior. Also further known in military speak as a cow. Strange terminology, but it is what it is. A lot of the top offensive players are now seniors. This is a vastly experienced team, one that is ready to do work and defend the Four Corners: the Coaches Trophy, the AP Trophy, the MacArthur Bowl and the Grantland Rice Trophy.

The great news that I'm pleased to know...is that Ike Ike himself has been named captain this year. That's D.W. Hinoi, ladies and gentlemen, the star quarterback whose season got cut short but still padded enough stats to win the O'Brien. A little-known left end by the name of Skyler Rankin has been named defensive captain. He hasn't had a lot of playing time, and this season, he's ready to finally break through and impress the scouts.

There's a number of new faces that have arrived on the scene this year. One of them is freshman left outside linebacker Greg Papashango. He's actually from Ghana but was adopted by Canadian Mormon missionaries who settled in Mitakihara Town to get away from missionary life and start a family. His given name was Greg Bostic, but after reuniting with his biological parents, he changed his last name to his biological father's last name, Papashango.

Speaking of which, his biological father was a witch doctor, and an avid fan of the Ghanaian national football team. Greg's a fan of Ghana and enjoys watching Ghana stomp the USA every now and then, despite being raised in Utah. He could have been a midfielder and become famous like his idol, Kevin-Prince Boateng, but he chose to play American football and be like his gridiron hero, Lawrence Taylor.

Another player that I am hyped up about is a local product, center Nate "The Great" Dawson, who was a third-year center for the Angels before accepting a scholarship offer to play for M-Town. He's got good field awareness, exhibits a lot of leadership and professionalism for a freshman, and is always welcoming to advice and ways to improve his game. He is a player that has the gift. That;s why he is a starter for the Magi this season.

I will talk about a few more new faces that will be looking to break through season in the next column. Till then, I am Gir Todafunk, Mr. Wonderful, signing off. You are not alone.

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