Friday, January 10, 2014

Mitakihara lay boombastic operatives on Notre Dame

Mitakihara lay boombastic operatives on Notre Dame

By Konomi Fujimiya
The Daily Magi
September 17, 2061


Tatsuya Kaname's Mitakihara Magi were tested by Raul Chaser's Notre Dame Fighting Irish but they pulled away late to prevail, 80-27, at Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend, Ind. At the beginning of the closing stanza, halfback Danny Russ Hanover asked his offensive lineman roommate Jamal Ali Muhammad one question.

"I asked Jamal Ali, 'r u hubba?'" said Russ Hanover, who ran for 193 yards and two touchdowns in the victory. "And then he said, 'i hubba if u hubba' then I said, 'we hubba lubba.' After that, shit just went down and got reel and we got the win. No, really, we got tested again by a damn good team. Some of their players we tried to get but the Irishmongs from Notre Dame took 'em. The best teams pay the price when they face us. We go GATA like the G8Rs; only better than the G8Rs because that's how we roll and we bettah that the G8Rs 2 begin wit. Ya deeg?"

Most of the press were left scratching their heads at the strangely-described description of the communication between Muhammad and Russ Hanover but it was agreed by consensus that they chose to discreetly, back-ass-handedly plagiarize Jameis Winston, whose long-yet-short (or is that short-yet-long? dead heat? Heat dead!) pro football career essentially rendered him as another Maurice Clarett clone with bible preacher, picket-before-Rose-Parade-for-church-and-or-PETA-trogs-in-despondent-need-of-Taco-Bell tendencies thrown in for good measure. 

In short, borrowed communication on borrowed time. Good timing. Once the fourth quarter got started, the Magi wasted no time and never looked back, outscoring Notre Dame 35-7 in the fourth to put the game out of reach for the hosts.

Quarterback Ricky Cojuangco passed for 193 yards and a touchdown while rushing for 88 yards and two majors. Fullback Shabba Tshabalala and backup quarterback Rajiv Singh also had a couple of touchdown runs, wide receiver David Culver Page recorded 20 pancakes while wideout Tony Graham Bell added 15, defensive tackle Mike Tsvangirai had three sacks, and both right outside linebacker Ty Liston and cornerback Josh Ravensdale had two interceptions apiece.

Mitakihara improve to 4-0 and conclude their road trip next week against the Brigham Young Cougars.

1 comment:

  1. CPU-simmed the Travis vs. BearDown game. It went to triple-overtime. Colorado State fell short in their two-point conversion attempt. Arizona was able to convert and win 98-96. The Wildcats were 0-2 heading into the match. I am not sure why Coach Boss Tom Turkey decided that running the ball on a QB scramble was the right thing to do. But that 2pt given up is a example of how the Mountain West's quality dropped after Mitakihara went independent. BYU right now will be holding the fort, but a loss like this to a then-winless team is not good news for Travis. On the other hand, BearDown's got a big shot in the arm.

    Colorado State gave up 1092 yards of total offense to UA. The Wildcats coughed up 1146 yards of total offense, including 635 passing yards. In addition, their quarterback threw four interceptions and committed more turnovers...and still won the game. This all came down to a facepalm-worthy decision by Rams redshirt senior quarterback Darius Brown electing to scramble rather than throw to a tight end that was wide open on the right side. Man of the match: wide receiver Jacob Curry-a freshman from Clovis, CA and a grandnephew of Jameis Winston-for being able to run it into the endzone without falling three Hachiko-sized Taco Bell Locos Tacos, er, 1.5 yards short.

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