Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Ricky Cojuangco blessed to have a wife...and Doge


Ricky Cojuangco blessed to have a wife...and Doge

By Anna Hendrix
The Daily Magi
December 22, 2062

Mitakihara Magi quarterback Ricky Cojuangco will play his final game this season as a third-year on Tatsuya Kaname's football team on Jan. 8 at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz. While the team, the fans, the fellow students, the coaches and professors have left an impact on him, Rico Football's greatest strengths come from his wife, the former Yukina Himeragi, and a unassuming Shiba Inu that understands English, French, Japanese and Tagalog...even though he can only speak it via telekinesis.

Yukina is set to graduate in Spring 2064 with a degree in molecular biology from Mitakihara University.

"After I left Kojou Akatsuki on friendly terms," Yukina Cojuangco said during a phone interview for TDM, "I left Japan to move to Canada only because the job opportunities were better and I needed to find a profession that would really suit me. I was tired of being a sword shaman, and I decided to retire from the Lion King Organization after I graduated from high school. I looked inside a catalogue of universities and stumbled upon Mitakihara University. I did the paperwork, did the placement exam, got admitted, and I started my new life here in Canada.

"It was a bit of a culture shock because there are people in Mitakihara that speak Japanese, but it's at a basic level. I watched a football game in my first year between their football team and Air Force. I wondered why they wore pink uniforms but the way they defeated their opponent was amazing. After the game, I met this quarterback. I asked him, 'What's your name?' I could only speak in Japanese. But he was able to respond in Japanese, 'My name is Ricky. Ricky Cojuangco.' I liked his cool rockstar haircut, those deep brown eyes, that composed light heart was beating for him. Before he could leave, I asked in English, 'Can I move with you to your dorm?' He didn't have any roommates in his dorm room, and he needed a partner.

"He said, 'Sure. You're mine now.' I spent the freshman year talking with Ricky, going out, and knowing that he's all about. He's a great person that came from a decent family in the Philippines, and he told me that on his mother's side, his grandmother was singer/actress Ariana Grande. So I was like, 'wow, this guy's famous!'

Ariana Grande, Ricky Cojuangco's maternal grandmother.

"But he wanted to downplay his pedigree and live a normal life. Ricky's a humble person and I fell in love with him. Ricky told me that he never had a woman in his life until I became his. 'I want to be your man, Yuki,' he whispered one day in the summer after our first year. And I told him, 'And I need you in my life, too. You're the one that will take me on a new direction. I need you so much. So let's be one. Let us...let us...' At the beginning of our sophomore year, we were married.

"I've grown accustomed to pets. I've always wanted to own a dog, and when he was younger, Ricky owned a few pet Chihuahuas in Batangas City. So we wanted to own a dog. University policy states that we are allowed one animal to keep as a pet. There is an animal shelter in downtown Mitakihara that sees lots of people adopt cats, dogs, birds, you name it. So I decided, let's look for a pet to keep. And we'll feed it, treat it well, and make it look like he is our son, in a way.

"We ended up adopted a young Shiba Inu. Originally, I wanted to call him Kabosu, but Ricky had other plans. He decided to call him Doge. I was originally against it, but I decided I'll call him Doge, too. It's like doze, but with a G. I just pronounce it as Dosshu.

"Suddenly, his eyes perked, he smiled, and somehow, he was able to talk to Ricky in broken English. Doge said, when we gave him the name, 'Wow. Such amazing. Very eyes. Many happy. So moe.' I couldn't believe Doge knew the meaning of moe. Maybe somehow he ended up reading doujinshi while being in the shelter.

"I also couldn't believe that Ricky was talking to Doge like it was his autistic son in a dog outfit. I ended up in heat on spring day in my second year, and after Ricky and I consummated in our dorm with Doge licking the sweat off my back and even giving my underwear a sniff, I learned how to talk to Doge as well! I can only do it through telekinesis, like Ricky, but Doge is actually more smarter that we think. I'm not kidding, I am serious.

"He's a dog that thinks like a neckbeard without the beard and ugly glasses and hair, while acting cooler than a hipster, and this university is surging with hipsters, if not polluted. I gave Doge a dog-sized dakimakura of our university's founder, Dr. Madoka Kaname, in her goddess outfit and Doge said, and I quote, 'Wow! Sugoi! Such pink! Many bows! Very thigh gap! So master!' And with a bark, he turned it into his sex toy.

"Ricky is so happy that I'm in his life, and I'm happy that he's in my life. And we have a wonderful dog that just says the darndest things and thinks like a guy living on budae jjigae. Actually, we fed him that, and he ate the whole pot. We won't do that again for a while. But Doge is a great companion. We go out for jogs, he's a nice assisting dog, and really obedient. And to think he can speak in human tongues...I don't think I could have ever had a dog or a degree if I didn't elope with Rico Football. I look forward to the day we move out into the world and maybe he plays a few songs for me. And Doge can join in too...if he wants."

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