Monday, March 24, 2014

Madoka Magi's Wingmen doing it right in passing game


Madoka Magi's Wingmen doing it right in passing game

By Inari Fushimi
The Daily Magi
September 21, 2066

The top three wide receivers in Mitakihara's passing attack—Steve Atsushi Takakamo, Shane "Big Dog" Balogun and Dee Dee Sonoda—go by a unique moniker: The Wingmen. Takakamo has 733 receiving yards and nine touchdowns, Balogun has 820 receiving yards and 10 touchdowns and Sonoda, despite being sidelined with a strained back early in the season, has 200 receiving yards and three touchdowns through four games.

"I think of Dee Dee as the Master Wingman," said Takakamo, the son of former receiver and wide receivers coach Ron Jeremy Takakamo and the grandson of Shizuno Takakamo and Ako Atarashi (pictured, top). "He knows what it takes to win the heart of his wife Renge, who I call Ren for short. He teaches me and Shane the basics in how to approach women and make conversations interesting and fun. One time his gave me a little pocketbook on 100 ways to win a woman's heart and 100 ways to make your woman your ex for life. And he does this based on empirical research, hours of field work, copious free time, rinse and repeat."

"Dee Dee, he know what he doin'," said Balogun, the son of Nigerian expats from Abuja, Nigeria who resettled in Middletown, N.Y. for a better life and, allegedly, better opportunities to "scam the white people," as he said via phone interview from his dorm room on The Rocks.

"Big brother Dee Dee, he don't take no fools from nobody. He knows how to make my shorty my shorty for life. And Dee Dee, he always tell me that dem shawty luv dat long dick, but only if you tall, you strong, you play sports and you rich. Dat why dem women, dey be gold diggers snoopin' around on Baller Alert wit dat shit. Ya dig?"

"I kinda chuckle at the notion of the Wingman moniker, but I guess if it allows me to be an advisor to my mates, I don't mind it one bit," said Dee Dee via phone interview. "Coach Kaname always tells us to be gentlemen to other gentlemen and ladies. I think it's going to rub off on all these freshmen, really."

Mitakihara conclude their road trip this week against Illinois.

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