Saturday, March 1, 2014

"My two wonderful aunts can get lewd at times": Dee Dee Sonoda

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"My two wonderful aunts can get lewd at times": Dee Dee Sonoda

By Kotone Noda
The Daily Magi
November 4, 2064

One of the worst kept secrets among the Mitakihara Magi football team's freshmen is the virility of the aunts of Mitakihara Magi wide receiver Dee Dee Sonoda. Ironically, they are the parents of the most virile football player on the team, quarterback Haruki Takayama. They are Haruka Takayama and Yuu Sonoda, and the discussions about their flings have made Dee Dee and Haruki wildly popular amongst a lot of people on campus.

"People keep asking me about the adventures of Aunt Haruka and Aunt Yuu," Dee Dee said at practice at Hakurei Centre. "My two wonderful aunts can get lewd at times but it's a genuine, honest, heartfelt form of lewdness that I have accepted, because Mama Mitsuki and Mama Rina were lewd as well.

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"But I have to concur, my aunts were more open about expressing their love for each other than my moms. Begrudglingly, I might add.. They made love out in the open, whether it was at school, in the park, at home, at the supermarket, at a restaurant, at a love hotel, at a regular hotel, at a mansion, at the movies, at some random adult-themed resort...the tales of sex, tribadism and euphoric, orgasmic tittilations and the jealousy Mama Mitsuki had from hearing about it...they got me going."

"I made a promise to myself that I would find the woman of my dreams after I graduate from the university. I want to see if I can succeed as a pro football player, and then I want to go into writing novels about lesbian love and the jealousy and heartbreak that comes. I want to be able to write my own types of dramas regarding girls loving girls through the eyes of a male straight ally who can only be friends with them and nothing more.

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"One peculiar thing that came to my attention when I first entered the campus was seeing images of Dr. Madoka Kaname, the university founder, in her younger days. And I thought to myself, she looks like a pink-haired version of Aunt Yuu! Then my eyes spiral out of control and I think I am losing my mind! I think I am missing the plot.

"And then I have a talk with Dr. Kaname about the comparisons over a welcome dinner for the freshmen on the team at McGann's and she says, 'I guess I did make short twin tails fashionable then, and I'm glad it's still fashionable now.' I love Dr. Kaname. If I wanted a dream grandmother, it would be her. Or at least, a dream godmother. Well, she IS a Goddess, so that might work. She takes it one step further, though: she's a bi-sexual. Dr. Kaname has a sexual relationship with her brother, who is my head coach, and the former chancellor, Dr. Akemi, who happens to also be another of Coach Kaname's five wives.

"Some university this is. Oh well. None of them have anything on my two aunts. There's just so much love in this city, it's almost unreal. But it is for real. And I'm lovin' it."

Mitakihara take on Texas A&M this week in another 1 vs. 2 contest at the Sakura Bowl this Saturday. Tickets are sold out.

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