Friday, May 16, 2014

EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT: January 2, 2069

EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT: January 2, 2069

By Chino Kafuu
The Daily Magi
January 2, 2069

A graduate of Geargia Tech in 2049, Millbrook University Athletic Director Jonathan Kilpatrick was also the head coach of the Cherokee football team, who were busy on the recruiting trail assembling their roster. They made deep strides to look for players in the South, but were restricted to snapping up players in Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia.

The Cherokees were slated to begin their inaugural season as a member of the Southern Conference and were picked to finish in the middle as a result of aggressive recruiting tactics from offensive coordinator Jose Luis "Chelis" Del Santo, a former Mitakihara center, and defensive coordinator Steele Ainsworth, a former defensive tackle for the Magi. When Coach Chelis and Coach Ainsworth interviewed for the positions, one of the questions asked was what their alma mater was. When Jonathan realized that their alma mater was Madoka, he had to make a trip to Canada to visit Coach Kaname before he rejoined the team down in Pasadena for the BCS Championship Game.

"Um, Tatsuya?" asked Mitakihara Athletic Director Shizuku Minami at his office at Hakurei Centre.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"There's someone waiting for you in the lobby."
"All right, let's see who it is. I have all day to tie up loose ends before I have to head to Cali." He got up from his desk and walked over.
"Are you Coach Tatsuya Kaname?" asked a fine gentleman with slicked back hair and a slim, if unchiseled, frame.
"Yes, that's me, you're looking at him."
"I am so honored to meet you. My name is Jonathan Kilpatrick. I am the athletic director at Millbrook University in Alabama and the head coach of the Cherokees football team. We're a new program that will start playing next season in the SoCon."
"I see. Well, tell you what, Jonny, let's talk away from this campus. I know a place where we can discuss important matters. Follow me to my van."


---OOO---

"A couple of your former players are on my coaching staff. They referred me to you," Jonny said as Tatsuya drove the two of them to the private estate of the newly-renamed Homulilly Society/Societe Homulille, the co-ed honor society that protected the traditions and history of Mitakihara University.
"Who are they?"
"Chelis Del Santo and Steele Ainsworth."
"I remember those two from the mid-2040s. I was reaching my coaching prime back then, even though I still looked a bit young."
"Anyway, where are we going?"
"We're heading down the highway to Tofino, which is a coastal town here on the island. It's the Malibu of Canada. There is a mansion in the city that belongs to the University, in which I have access to because, you know..."
"All those national championships make you a VIP, huh?"
"Well, I am pretty well-known around these parts, no question about it," Tatsuya said with a chuckle. Two hours later, they arrived. "Here we are. The Homulilly Mansion at the Spider Lily Country Club."
"Whoa. This place is huge."
"Isn't it? All right..." Tatsuya pressed a button.
"Hello, who is this?" asked a familiar voice.
"Homura, is that you?"
"Takkun, what are doing here? Shouldn't you be preparing for the National Championship in Pasadena?"
"I'm not needed until tomorrow night. The rest of the team and coaches flew ahead of me. I have a guest here that wants to talk some serious business regarding our schedule."
"Hasn't that already been determined?"
"Not quite. There is one more hole to fill. Can you let us in?"
"Sure thing, honey."
"So that's your wife?" asked Jonny as the van rolled into the parking lot. The two of them got off the van to make the long walk down the pathway to the mansion, overlooking the golf course.
"One of my five wonderful wives. I have five: Madoka, Homura, Mami, Sayaka and Kyouko. Madoka is the founder of the university and she is also my sister by blood."
"How can you have a sister for a wife?" Jonny exclaimed. "How is that possible!?"
"In this country, anything is possible. It's our way of showing how progressive we are compared to our Commonwealth sisters to the south."
"If you say so."
The door opened. "Takkun!" exclaimed Homura, dressed in a black blouse and beige slacks with gray pumps.
"Homura! Come here, baby! Mmmm..." The two of them embraced.
"And is this our guest?"
"Greetings, Ms. Homura Akemi. My name is Jonathan Kilpatrick, Millbrook University Athletic Director and Cherokee Football Head Coach. A pleasure to meet you."
"Hello, young man. I'm Homura Akemi, the co-founder of Mitakihara University and a former administrator and assistant coach for the football team during its infancy. Oh yes, and an Olympic champion too. Come inside, it's a bit cold."
"Yes, ma'am," Jonny said. As the three of them walked in, a plethora of cute college students dressed in funeral dresses, barefoot to boot.
"Okaerinasai, goshujin-sama!" said the girls.
"Whoa," Jonny said, almost gaining a nosebleed.
"Very nice, ladies. Homura, why aren't they wearing the maid outfits?" asked Tatsuya.
"Dry cleaners," Homura replied. "So they have to wear the Society uniform. The outfit I personally designed."
"Is this your personal harem or something?" asked Jonny, still shivering through his cat-faced smile.
"Even better. These are members of the Homulilly Society that are going through training from my wife Homura, correct?"
"Correct," she said.
"There we go. Well, ladies, we have an esteemed guest from Alabama here with us. His name is Jonny Kilpatrick, and he represents Millbrook University."
"Irrashaimase, JaySeeKay-sama!" the girls squealed, posing like cats, looking disgustingly adorable on the side.
"Oh man, ooooooh!" Jonny said, gaining a nosebleed while getting wet down there. "I came." The girls giggled, knowing he got a boner to boot.
"Are't they special, Jonny boy. Well, ahem, ladies, go ahead and prepare a meal for me, Homura and Jonny. Give this lad some of the finest wagyu with steak fries, as well as balsamic vinegar salad, a compote, a Nanaimo bar and coffee."
"Gee, thanks," Jonny said, laughing hesitantly.
"What about you?" Homura asked Tatsuya.
"As for me ladies...make me a sandwich."
"HAI!" the girls said, bowing, then skipping off to the kitchen to make lunch. Tatsuya would get a homemade A&W Teen Burger with seasoned shoestring fries and sun tea with guarana.
"Let's head over to the dining hall, follow me."
"I'll overlook the ladies," Homura said, walking over to the kitchen to rejoin the girls.


---OOO---

"This is a big dining hall," said Jonny, taking a seat. In the background, various JPop tunes were playing in the backgyround. "What's that portrait behind you, it's huge!"
"Ah, this?" Tatsuya chuckled. "This is a painting of me surrounded by two of my wonderful wives. Homura to my left in her goddess form, and Madoka to my right, also in her goddess form. I am wearing my sweater vest and khakis with trucker hat, holding a football and looking like a man of men."
"Larger than life, huh?"
"It was commissioned by T.A. Hess, who is not only a songwriter, but a really good painter. T.A. was a former student who composed one of our fight songs, the Mighty Magi."
"That sounds like Greater Western Sydney's song..."
"That's because it is. We borrowed the melody and adapted it as one of our songs. Your new marching band director, Alex, used to work for us just days ago. Did you know that?"
"I don't pay too much attention to the band, but that's, I guess, another reason why I am here. Anyway, let's cut to the chase before...oh, our food's here! Whoa." All the dishes were cooked to order. Jonny took a slice of the wagyu steak.  "This takes like heaven!"
"YAAAAY!" exclaimed the Homulilly girls in their funeral dresses, hugging each other before group hugging Jonny, causing him to come some more.
"At this rate, all of my all will be out of me...is this real life!?"
"It is," Tatsuya said, striking the Gendo Ikari look, but with an air of smugness. Homura, who was wearing glasses, adjusted her frames so that the lenses had an opaque glint.
Minutes after they finished their meal, Jonny cut to the chase. "Coach Kaname..."
"Just call me Tatsuya, Jonny. Formalities are for sheeple and lizards. Right?"
"Thanks, Tatsuya. Anyway, is there room for my team to be on your schedule?"
"Oh? Why would you schedule us? You're only a new team."
"I want my players to understand the standard of play that they need to play at if they want to win a national championship at the FCS level."
"You realize you'll be lucky to put up a fight against us, right?"
"That doesn't matter!" Jonny got up, walked over to Tatsuya and fell to his knees, bowing like a criminal condemned to death, praying for clemency, the tears streaming down his face. "Please! I beg you! Make us your Homecoming opponent for 2070!" Jonny screamed in Japanese with a Kansai accent.
"Yare yare, the Tokugawa shogunate ended centuries ago, get up you baby." Jonny returned to his seat. "Tell you what I'll do. I'll make the recommendation to the schedule team and if they approve it, you're on the schedule. Generally they approve all recommendations by me, but given that you're a new program, this may be up for discussion. For now, consider yourself on the schedule. And we'll finance your trip and accomodations because our endowment's a jizillion times richer than Donald Sterling in his prime. Got it?"
"Thank you based Tatsuya!" Jonny said, giving the old man a hug while still sobbing.
"Awwwwwww," sighed the Homulilly girls, blushing.
"Guess that takes care of that," Homura said, dealing out a Gallic shrug. In a few weeks, following the national championship game, the 2070 Mitakihara Magi schedule would be finalized.

8 comments:

  1. I feel slightly mocked, Slightly being an overstatement...

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  2. Replies
    1. It's called the FRIENDSHIP Cup for a reason, Don't be hatin'

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    2. That is YOUR dynasty. That's YOUR business. This is MY business. THIS is different. You're in a different division, a different conference, and I can't import new Create-A-Schools in my dynasty after it starts. How about you be thankful that your university is represented as Division I FCS Southeast, huh? There will be no trophy awarded between these two schools in my dynasty. The Friendship Cup and Rebellion Window do not exist. This is a one-off match.

      I also noticed you started up an account on Nutopia Sports. How about you stop lurking and start posting/reposting your Cherokees dynasty down there?

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    3. I don't mind the whole you playing the Cherokees. Beat them 200-0 for all I care. Just don't make me look foolish doing it.

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    4. Oh no, it's a brave decision that you made, and the hosts know this, so they'll be very hospitable.But I'm not gonna give anything away just yet.

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    5. I'm about to be completely honest. I was intoxicated when I wrote all this. Hell, I don't even remember any of this. Or how I got home. Never party with engineers...

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    6. You should come to the "Drink Drank Drunk" thread on Nutopia and explain further your story.

      Delete